A Million Ways

Winter in the midwest, bitter cold, bitter cold
But a crowd gathers anyhow, in hats and scarves and boots and hoods
And you're shouting into a microphone on the steps of Angell Hall
Half your words are lost in the biting wind, but we cheer as one,
Just like we'd understood
And maybe it was the way the storm drew everybody close
Maybe it was your delivery, or the rime ice in your beard
But when you called for a meeting later on at your house
I volunteered

I was good with a paintbrush and you set me to work making signs
"Nice big letters" you said "make it easy to read
Don't lose the message behind the design"
And you sat on your threadbare sofa with the other guys
Making notes and talking loud
You looked so fragile in your worn out t-shirt
I couldn't imagine you were the same guy I'd seen
Shouting to the crowd
Of course we fell together. Right away we were so close
The line between us blurred
We were like two halves of the same person
We wore the same clothes, ate off the same plate
Spoke the same words
And every morning waking twisted in your blanket
Your breath would smell like ash
You'd say "If this war is ever over
I want to travel to Bangladesh"
And there would be someone asleep on the sofa
Someone in the kitchen making watered down orange juice
Someone at the door, someone on the phone
And a million ways to be of use

Who can way what happened?
The war ended, meetings lost their focus
Everyone drifted apart
You took a job at a downtown bookstore
And I told you there was a baby
I swear to god it was true
But I lost it, I lost my heart
And I lost you
So I was going back to classes
Studying for my incompletes
I don't even know how much time went by
But I almost walked right past you
When I saw you on the corner of East Liberty and Main Street
You said you were fine
You were going out with a business law professor
I said, "so that's how we're going to change the world?
Join forces with the oppressor?"
You said, "Hey, you can live in that little world
With your naïve politics, my god
Like it matters who got arrested
For the cause of fearlessness in the face of the riot squad
As if all that soybean soup you ate at midnight
Because it took that long to cook and it was cheap
Ever fed a soul in Bangladesh
Or helped some guy in a foxhole sleep
I mean, pick a cause, any cause is going to work just as well
If what you do it for is how it makes you feel
About yourself"

©1998 Annie Gallup